Celebrate your Kids' 2015 Successes

Welcome to the New Year! A great way to get back into your regular work pattern is to reconnect with why you are doing what you are doing and learning what you are learning this year. I have a super fun 2-part exercise you can do with your kids to boost the second half of their school year!

If you haven’t already, and even if you already have, celebrate everything that went well last year. The goal here is to come up with 30 to 50 different things that your kids learned last year―you know, those things that they are proud of! It can be little things or big things, but the goal is to get them to see how far they have come and everything they have learned.

Have the kids work with you or another partner that is encouraging. Or they could get out their journals and you could be a partner to all of them at the same time, guiding them through the exercise. Start with the phrase “I am proud of…” and have them start writing down a list. It could include anything big or small that they have learned in the last year. Have them think about what they were studying a year ago, or even at the beginning of the school year, and compare it to where they are today. What do they understand or know now that they didn’t before?

Take it a step further. What are they proud of in their lives that was hard for them? How about standing up for themselves or others? Or a tricky situation that they handled well or even not so well but learned from? How about new character traits that they have developed? Or even inches that they have grown in the past year? (That is hard work too!) Did they hit any goals this year? Read a particularly challenging book? Learn a new sport, instrument, or language?

As they are writing things down they will hit a block, often at around 5 items. This is where their partner should quietly ask “What else?” You can make general prompts if they truly get stuck from the list above, but try to refrain from telling them what you are proud of. You can always do that later. 

They should write down anything that comes to mind that they were proud of over the year. Anything goes! This is their time to celebrate all of their accomplishments.

Now for the second part, take some time to cheer, congratulate, and really honor and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. Here is where you can share things you have noticed in each other! Show them how wonderful 2015 really was.

This will totally get them pumped to keep moving and learning in 2016!

Turn Your Kids' New Year's Resolutions into Successful Goals

As this year comes to a close, the promise of a new one encourages many of us to create New Year’s Resolutions.  Let’s show our kids how to make this tradition more than just a fleeting wish or dream!  

When it comes to goal setting, the most common and widely known version of this is the yearly setting of a New Year’s Resolution.  Even if your family doesn’t participate in the tradition or in any active form of goal setting, it is likely that your kids have heard of it.  Did you know, though, that according to one study only 8% of New Year’s Resolutions are even considered partially successful?  Setting and checking in on goals one day a year is not a great way to create the things you want most in life!   Actually setting goals and not achieving them will set up a mindset that goals are dreams and not attainable.  That is not something we want our kids to have in their subconscious!  So, how can we make this something that encourages life long successful skills?

Here are some tips you can incorporate into your New Year’s Resolution goal setting that will create GREAT life long habits for your kids!

First, have two lists.  One is the bucket list.  Have your kids dream about everything and anything they would love to do or have in life!  This should be incredibly easy for them.  They don’t really need any help from us here.   The second one should be focused on what they want to make happen this year, this month, this week.  Encourage your kids to choose something they actually want to create this year for their New Year’s Resolution.

After they have this goal and they are really committed to making it happen, help them define it.  I want $300 for a blue bike on June 1st so I can ride it during the summer.  Or, I want to learn how to land a double salchow in figure skating before December 31.  Or, I want to write a book with 10 chapters by September 1st.  Have them add in the numbers.  Specific dates and dollar amounts are important here.  How much by when.  Be specific!

Visualize it.  This should be fun for them!  Have them create a vision board.  Cover a corkboard, a poster board, the glass part of a frame, or even an area of the wall with images of their goal.  Have them write their specific goal out and post it here.  Have them add to the board how they will feel when they achieve their goal, as well as photos of why they want to achieve the goal.  Going back to the bike as a goal, have them include photos of riding it with their friends or going to get ice cream.  They can pull photos out of magazines, print them off of the computer, or even draw things they cannot find.   Encourage them here, but less is more when it comes to giving them too many directions.

Next, brainstorm a list of ways they can achieve their goal!  Nothing is too outrageous and anyone they want can chip in ideas.  This is to get their creativity going!  Set a high number like 50 or 100 ideas to help them come up with the best variety.  All of this gives them ways to see that their goal is attainable.  After the “anything goes” session is finished, they can create a list of their favorites and post both of these lists to their boards.

Finally, and most importantly, set up a way to check in on the goal every week or even every day.  This is where most New Year’s Resolutions fall flat.  After a few days or weeks the resolutions are forgotten.  Link a resolution check-in with something they do regularly.  I now have a habit of setting up my week every Sunday night.  I look at my goals and write down the top 3 things that will get me closer to what I am working towards every week.  Teaching your kids to check in with their goal every Monday when they are prepping for their week of schoolwork will be the beginning of a fabulous, life-long habit.  Have them ask, “What can I do this week to get me closer to my goal?”  or “What 3 things can I do that would make all the difference in achieving this goal?”  Have them keep a journal where they can write down the answers to these questions every week.  Have them write down their progress and celebrate it no matter how small it is.  Help them see their progress and encourage them through their slow times.  One way to take it a step further is to have them write down their goals every day in their journal along with a description about why they want to achieve them.  This will keep their goals clearly in focus.

Whether it is something like getting a bike or writing a book or nailing that next athletic milestone, it will be amazing to see what these kids can achieve!  These steps should give them what they need to make their New Year’s Resolutions a reality!   

I would love to hear your kids' resolutions in the comments below!

Change Your Oww to Wow!

This week I was listening to an interview one of my mentors, Todd Herman, a peak performance coach, had with Marie Forleo.  (It was a great interview!  Google it.)  He was discussing a concept that dealt with having an Oww brain mindset or a Wow brain mindset.  As I was listening to him, I could totally see how this applied to all of us fabulous homeschooling moms!

Let me tell you about two of my clients so you can see the difference yourself.  One, let’s call her Abby, has two kids, uses a popular curriculum, and has been homeschooling for a year and a half now.   When we chat she starts with discussions about how her youngest, a 4 year old boy, isn’t reading yet and how her 3rd grader, a girl, isn’t mastering multiplication fast enough.  She is worried all the time about not reaching the next milestone. 

Now let me tell you about a woman I will call Patty.  She has a similar family and homeschooling setup.  When we get on a call, she will start with different problems she may have had, tell me about things she has tried, what progress was made, and then how she could use help.

Can you see the difference?  At first it wasn’t so clear to me either.  One of these women, Abby, without changing her patterns at all, will continue on a path that leaves her worried, frustrated, full of fear, and likely will not get quick and easy results.  On top of that, she is teaching her children to deal with learning and goal setting in the same way.  I think many of us have been in this place on our journey at one point.  This is a classic “Oww” brain.

Now Patty has many of the same worries, but she is handling them differently.  She will also get better results.  Her life isn’t full of fear, but is full of resilience.  She takes each part of her journey and specifically sees what is better than yesterday.  Patty is a classic “Wow” brain. She literally sees the WOW of the improvement in her kid’s progress.  She isn’t so totally focused on her goals and not achieving them that she can’t enjoy and celebrate the little steps along the way. 

With kids and learning, little steps are what it is all about. Yes, there are big breakthroughs, but if you only celebrate the day they start to read and not all of the progress before and after the big moment, you miss what is so special in the journey.

Take a moment and activate your WOW brain.  What did your kids learn yesterday?  Celebrate the progress!  It will be worth it.

Looking for Homeschoolers to Feature in our Blog

We Want to Hear From You!

One of the best ways to grow and learn, as well as to get amazing new ideas is to look to someone who has already accomplished something you would like to do or know more about. Here at Homeschool with Confidence, we are constantly talking about how we can share more within our community and be even more inspired by each other.

Sooo, we have decided to spotlight one of you each month! We are looking for Homeschool parents, graduates, and/or students who are doing something pretty cool or even just super happy with their homeschool journey.

We invite you to DOWNLOAD this QUESTIONNAIRE , send it to Juli@homeschoolconfidence.com, and we will feature you in the Homeschool with Confidence Blog, on Facebook or both!  And Yes! You can promote something awesome you are doing, too (as long as we don’t have totally conflicting ideas!).

Fun Facts About the History of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of our country’s most loved holidays.  It is about families coming together and thankfulness for our bounty.  Most kids know about the feast in 1621 that marked a celebration of harvest and plentiful food shared between the Pilgrims and the Indians, but there is so much more to the story about how we got to what we know of as Thanksgiving today.

Our first Thanksgiving of 1621 didn’t serve turkey or potatoes or even pumpkin pie.  The three-day celebration included venison, wild goose and lobster.  The Indians celebrated the first successful harvest made by the Pilgrims with feasting, hunting, and other entertainment.  

While there were some Thanksgiving feasts in localized areas, another significant Thanksgiving was not held again until November 26, 1789.  George Washington declared a one time national Thanksgiving celebration to be held on November 26, 1789.  Despite this, it took over 200 years for Thanksgiving to be called a national holiday.

In 1827 a woman named Sara Josepha Hale, the woman known for writing Mary Had a Little Lamb, began a letter writing campaign that would last almost 30 years.  Inspired by the book Diary of Pilgrim Life, Sara was inspired to recreate the Pilgrims’ celebration.  During the 30 year letter campaign, she also published recipes including, you guessed it, turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie.  

Finally in 1863 Abraham Lincoln declared the last Thursday in November to become the national holiday Thanksgiving we know of today.  His hopes were to create a unifying tradition for his ailing country.

In 1939 Franklin Delano Roosevelt decided to move the holiday up a week to give the Depression Era retailers another week of sales.  Though this was widely disputed, FDR declared in 1941 that Thanksgiving would be celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November.

President George H. W. Bush in 1989 started a tradition of officially pardoning a turkey to go live on a retirement farm.  Every year since, the current president pardons 1 or 2 turkeys.

Where did the traditional football and parades come from?  In the 1920’s, a fledgling football team, the Detroit Lions, hosted an exhibition ball game to raise interest and it took off from there.  As for the parades, Macy’s in New York hosted the first parade in 1926.

How High School and College Teachers See Incoming Homeschoolers

Recently I have run across several articles discussing how prepared, and not prepared, homeschool kids are to enter the high school or college learning scene.  This got me curious, so I talked to a few teachers as well as homeschool students who have made the transition from home to the classroom.

Here are the major ideas I have collected, some desirable and some not so much.

Here are some of the common traits found in homeschoolers that are great for an awesome transition into college or high school.

·      Homeschoolers are eager learners.  They are curious, ask questions and dive in to the work well.  

·      They are often much more social and open to making new friends than their traditionally schooled counterparts. 

·      They easily interact with adults, including making eye contact and holding intellectual conversations.

·      Homeschooled kids tend to be great at budgeting their own time and figuring out new resources for information.

Yet with the benefits there are also some areas where they could improve.  These traits I found interesting, yet not totally surprising. 

·      Homeschoolers tend not to be great test takers, especially in timed situations.  Frankly, many of us homeschooling parents find this a pro and urge our kids to learn not for the tests.  Their more classically trained counterparts are highly trained at excelling in this arena.  (Yes, there is so much more that can be said here including about how much this skill is needed in the real world, etc.)  If your kids are going to go the college route, giving them some training here is essential starting as early as middle school.

·      Deadlines.  Homeschoolers are weak at meeting deadlines.  This skill does transfer into life and work adult needs.  Practice giving them hard deadlines in a variety of different situations.  These areas could include reading a book, a big project, and science experiments, to job and internship tasks.  Have them get into situations where others are giving them deadlines and teach them how to work out a schedule on how to meet them successfully.

·      Homeschoolers tend to be weak in the sciences and math areas.  For many this is not a serious issue, but if your child wants to pursue a major in college in one of these areas, beefing up their studies may be very important.  Almost all of the teachers, as well as students I talked to, mention that this was an issue for them.  Start outsourcing classes slowly.  In our area, our community colleges take high school age homeschoolers early.  They then have access to deadlines, test, upper level math and sciences at a slower pace. 

·      Socialization.  This is not what I expected but it totally makes sense.  Our fabulous homeschool kids are a little too comfortable talking with the teachers.  Often these kids find they are drawn to the teachers and not the students as peers.  This, I think is a “quality problem” and not one to fix as much as recognize and mention to your child to be aware of.  Several teachers, especially the high school teachers, did almost find it a problem.  My daughter mentioned many of her college professors liked that about her and her fellow homeschooled students, though several were not OK with the familiarity.  Teaching homeschooled kids when it is and is not appropriate is likely the key here.

The most important thing we as parents can learn from this is that we really need to look at the end goal.  Is college really the best fit?  If so, could it be in an area that needs heavy math or science knowledge?  How can we take the ideas mentioned above and use them to prepare our kids in these areas? Leave your comments and let’s start a deep, insightful conversation.

Gratitude is the special sauce in life

Happy, successful people consistently have one thing in common.  They are grateful.  They actively search for silver linings and their glasses are always half full.  Getting in the habit of being grateful is easily one of the most important practices you can teach your children.  Did you know that just searching for something to be grateful for in a bad situation can help you feel better?  It really can!  Try it next time things aren’t going so well.

Every year in November, families across the US sit down for a large meal of turkey, dressing and pumpkin pie.  This one special night a year families are giving thanks.  Our family has a tradition of each person describing what they are thankful for as we are preparing to eat our meal.  We have figured out, though, that once a year is not enough!

Much like goal setting on New Year ’s Eve, annual gratitude acknowledgement does not really create lasting results.  Instead, in our house we have created ways to incorporate being grateful into our daily routine. We believe that it is super important for our kids to see the good in every situation.  Your child has a much better day when he is happy about his homeschooling experience—instead of focusing on everything he is unhappy with. 

It’s easy to add a daily dose of gratitude and optimism into your child’s life.  Here are a few ideas that I’ve used over the years —

·      Have a grateful moment at each meal

·      When things are on the edge between being good or bad, ask: “What is great about this?” and let them answer with at least 3 ideas.

·      Have each member of the family be the “star of the day” and have each family member tell or write down things they are grateful for about that person. 

·      Get everyone to give out 3 compliments a day and report on them at the dinner table.  That will quickly shift the kids from seeing what they don’t like to what they do!

·      Start gratitude journals for each person in the family and add it into your curriculum.  We have a free journal download for you HERE.

One great way to take this deeper and make it more meaningful is to focus on 5 things you are grateful for about one person, event, etc. instead of finding 5 different things to be grateful for.  I have seen kids brought to tears by the 4th or 5th concept because it urges them to dig deeper.  Give it a try!

Gratitude is the special sauce in life.  Creating ways to make this an easy for your kids in their everyday life is setting them for a life that is happy and successful.   

How to Homeschool on a Budget

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There is a group of homeschool moms out there who are grateful to just be able to stay home and homeschool. I’ve been there too and I know how being home full time and handling all of their kid’s educational needs can make the budget tight. Here are some great tips on how to provide a great education for your kids without investing a ton on curriculum.

TIP #1
First, hit the Internet. Search for a list of skills/subjects that should be covered for your child’s grade. Often your local school district will have this readily available online. Your state will also likely have their standards per grade posted somewhere. Ok, ok. Maybe the reason you started homeschooling was because you did not like what was going on in your local public school system. Search other states! Idaho, California, Massachusetts, and Iowa have great outlines online. So do private schools. Look around. I used the book Home Learning Year by Year by Rebecca Rupp as my base line. It was totally worth the investment!

Here is the thing. You don’t have to follow what ever it is you find. This is an outline and a base so that you are prepared and aware of what is usually being handled in the grade you are teaching. I start the year looking it over, choose a few things, and then create our plan based on what we really wanted to do. BUT, I was aware of what was the usual and normal for the grade. I often was able to add little bits here and there to make sure the kids were, well, able to go back into the school system if that ever became a necessity.

So now that you have an idea what “should” be covered in each grade, it is time to decide what would be best for you and your child. Is your child ahead in some areas and behind in others? Mine almost always were. All the more reason to NOT purchase an all in one expensive curriculum!

TIP #2
One thing I always paid a lot of attention to were the things my children were really interested in. One was interested in figure skating and another in exotic cars and marine biology. Keeping this in mind, I searched for free or lower priced items to create learning opportunities. There are so many free printables and online activities these days. Here is a list of places to search for great free or cheap resources-

• Pinterest - tons of free printables there. Look for boards per subject or grade.

• Google for worksheets - search under Images or find links in blogs, etc.

• Search Free Homeschooling resources and get involved with some of those resource sites, groups, or blogs. For teens, there are several sites with free college courses on them.

• Facebook - There are multiple groups mentioning free homeschooling resources. Ask to join and see what you can get there.

• Instagram - Check there for links to free printables.

• Libraries - Still a great free resource for books, DVDs, computer programs, books on tape, and even textbooks. Our library has several copies of Hooked On Phonics, as well as Rosetta Stone Spanish.

• Goodwill, Savers, etc. - I find excellent resources there in their books! I often find textbooks as well as tons of reading options. Kids books are often under a dollar each.

• E-bay often has lots of used or older curriculum or bundles of grade related resources.

• Museums - Often they have in house learning opportunities to go along with your visit. Some offer free resources and activities online.

• Local homeschooling groups - Other families can be a great resource for ideas, group activities and used curriculum.

TIP #3
The most rewarding and potentially the least expensive form of homeschooling is child led learning. Focus not on what everyone thinks your child “should” learn and focus on what your child WANTS to learn.

Spend your days exploring with your child. Head off to historical places or museums, go on picnics while listening to an audio book. Going on bike rides through the fall leaves talking about how they change can be as educational and rewarding as any high priced curriculum. Is she into a particular book or movie? When he is curious, help him explore with his whole heart. It is amazing how they can jump “grade levels” in subjects like spelling when they decide it is time to write something that is important to them! Let them take the lead and use the resources you have with the Internet, libraries and people you know instead textbooks. Let your child fall in love with learning. That will provide so much more for their life long term than any high priced program.

You Can Give Your Kid a Super Power in 2 Minutes

Super heroes are quite popular right now.  With that in mind, I thought I would share with you a super power you can give to your kid in just 2 minutes.

There is this thing you can do that will give you more confidence, less stress, clear headed thinking, better leadership skills, and the ability to shine in high pressure situations.

And, yes, you can gain all of those benefits in just 2 minutes.

Think of all of the ways this could benefit your kids!

·       Play tryouts

·       Job interviews

·       Big tests

·       Meeting new people

·       Speeches

·       Singing and instrumental performances

·       Sporting situations

Actually, any situation that could create a little fear!

Convinced the solution is a super power yet?

Here is all they need to do: stand tall, shoulders back, hands on the hips, smile on the face, and imitate Superman or Wonder Woman for 2 minutes.

Yep.  That is it. Really? Yes, really! Hear is the science behind it…

There have been a bunch of studies recently showing that the way you hold your body significantly influences how you feel and even react.  Standing in this pose for those 2 minutes raises the levels of testosterone, the hormone that creates clear, focused thinking and strengthens leadership traits in both males and females, and lowers cortisol, the hormone that triggers the flight reaction, raises stress levels, and causes you to embrace fears.

One way to gain more information about this concept is to watch Amy Cuddy’s TedTalk about the research she has done on the subject. Watch it HERE.  This video is totally worth the 20 minute watch, especially if you are not already convinced that this is a must to share with your kids.

Next, time you are sending your kids, or even yourself, into a stressful situation, whip out your 2 minute super hero pose!  I know it has worked wonders for my family.  Share your experiences below in the comments or in our Facebook group.  We loved to hear and see you using your super powers!

The Day Changer Question

Questions control our lives and our minds. Right now your mind may be saying “No they aren’t,” but that was a response to your subconscious asking: “Do questions control our minds?” Tony Robbins, a mentor of mine, often talks about the concept that the quality of our questions determines the quality of our lives.

I have a question you can use anytime to raise the quality of your day. It is a question that works when things are good and you’d like them to keep getting even better, or when things are not so good and you really, really, want them to change.

Here is the question: What is great about this? Ok. Maybe there are times you don’t want to even dignify that with a response. I get it. I’ve been there. So ask this: If there was something great about this, what would it be?

This is the magic sauce. If you can focus on the better or best parts of a situation, you can make it better. You can use those clues to get to a better result. I know from experience that if I sit for 5 minutes and brainstorm in a notebook 5, 10, or even 20 things that could be great about it, I feel better and less stressed. Right away! Sometimes the best I have is there is clean water to drink and my kids always have food, etc. but any situation could be worse.

More likely you will uncover the gift in the situation. Next time things aren’t exactly they way you’d hoped, ask: “What’s great about this?” and see what answers pop up!

What Successful Homeschoolers Have in Common

I recently had the privilege to chat with several other homeschool moms.  They mentioned how they are seeing articles on Facebook and hearing stories of amazing homeschoolers doing amazing things. 

As homeschooling parents we all want to put the amazing, extraordinary stories out there saying, “See!  This can be as good or even better than what we walked away from!”  It is a form of legitimizing the homeschooling movement in a way.

Yet, more often, there are wonderful stories of families who aren’t out stretching the schools academically, or doing outrageous and extraordinary things.  These families, it seems according to the discussion I was involved in, are ready to be recognized for something they think is very special and maybe even more so than what is out there publically.  And really, it is the one thing that matters the most, whether you homeschool or your kids go to public school, or are in any other place in life. 

The successful thing that matters most to all of us on some level is that we are happy.  These moms mentioned that all of these extraordinary accomplishments didn’t matter as long as they were happy—and I totally agree.

They called themselves ordinary, yet that is where I do not agree.  In everyone, the subconscious craves happiness.  We do everything we do to somehow fill a need because we think filling that need, will make us happy.  Actually achieving a happy balance is extraordinary and it is the ultimate success.  Congrats to you ladies and to all of you other homeschooling families who are happy in your homeschool journey.  You have the true success!

Homeschooling and Home Business, The Ultimate Time Question

I think we can agree that homeschooling is a time consuming lifestyle. Having your own home-based business is as well. Merging the two can easily become overwhelming! Here is a fabulous way to be sure you can handle both in a way that is rewarding to both you and your family.

Set intentions
First, set your intentions. Knowing what you want and where you want to go helps you stay focused on the activities that really matter. For your homeschool, what really matters everyday? In what areas is it important you work one-on-one with each child? By 3rd or 4th grade, your kids may be able to handle a section of their school work on their own daily. The most important thing you need to give your kids is for them to know you are there for them. Setting a system for when and how to communicate with you in which you can be fully present is key.

For your business, what is your end goal there? Ultimately, it is to make money, correct? Which things in your business bring in the most profit? Where are there time sucks? I recommend making a detailed list of exactly how much money you want to make per month and work backwards. How many units per week is that, per day? Take those numbers and build your plan from there.

Schedule it
Second, and this was a real eye opener for me, take a week and keep a schedule of what you are really doing all the time. Figure out how long it takes you to do laundry or walk the dog. How much time do you get sucked into social media thinking it is business networking or curriculum hunting, but ultimately the time disappears with out much to show for it. 

Reassess
Third, after you know what you want and you know what you are really doing, reassess! There are things you are doing everyday that don’t really help you get closer to your homeschooling goals or your financial goals! Do they really matter? Why did you start to do them anyway? Try eliminating those things.

Delegate
Finally, this is the way to really make money and make the most of your time, delegate! Is it time to get someone to come in and do laundry or clean? Is it time to get a virtual assistant for your business? Or could some of these tasks be picked up by your kids? Think about this, if you have tasks in your business that could gain you $100 an hour or more, why are you doing the $10-$20 an hour tasks that eat up your time? Start small. Have a local teen come in and do some of the simple things for $20 a week and see how it feels to have that extra quality time with your kids or in your business. Delegate a repetitive task like answering emails that ask the same questions to someone on UpWork or Craigslist.

Try out these steps. I guarantee that finding more time is easier than you think! If you’d like to know more about this process or others like it, contact me. My one-on-one coaching programs help you flush out systems like this to make your life, homeschool, and business thrive!